Hello Life! by Marcus Butler

Author:Marcus Butler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books

DITCHING TOXIC FRIENDS

Sometimes, if you choose them badly, your friends can cause you as much stress as your enemies. Trust me, I know from experience. For a short while when I was at school, I used to hang around with the naughty kids. They were the troublemakers in the class for sure, and though I wasn’t usually a badly behaved kid myself, for a while I found myself getting a buzz from getting into scrapes with them. I started skipping school and messing around in class and picking up detentions and warnings from teachers.

It wasn’t really bad stuff—I wasn’t into fighting, stealing, or bullying—but I was putting pins on teachers’ chairs so they would jump up when they sat on them. I’d get wet toilet tissue, run past the school kitchen, ring the doorbell so someone would come and open the door, and then launch the wet tissue toward the staff. I even threw rocks at windows until they cracked—those kinds of things. Looking back, it wasn’t that much of a big deal. It was hardly crime-of-the-century stuff, but I guess it could have been a gateway to some more serious issues, had I not got it under control and stepped away from that group. That was a decision I had to make, and leaving them behind was tough. They were fun; they made me laugh. I can remember some good times hanging out with those guys, but deep down I knew what I was doing wasn’t right. I also realized I could get into a lot more trouble at school if I didn’t sort my attitude out. There wasn’t one incident that forced me into that decision—it was a gradual realization.

It wasn’t an easy thing to do, and to figure out whether I should stick with them I had to ask some serious questions of myself, like: a) What are these people doing for me? b) What are they bringing to my life? and c) Am I hanging around with them because they’re the cool kids at school, or because I value and trust their friendship?

My answers were as follows:

a. They’re getting me into trouble at school (for being a bit of a dick).

b. I’m getting grief for being in trouble at school (for being a bit of a dick).

c. Because they’re the cool kids in school, rather than close personal friends (and I’m becoming a bit of a dick).

That’s when I made the decision to stop hanging out with them. It was a bit awkward but I realized it was for the best in the long run. In the end I stopped messing around with them, I quit skipping classes, and a lot less trouble came my way as a result. I also decided that it was better to have a smaller number of friends who were “real,” rather than a big group of cool people who might say things behind my back, or weren’t entirely trustworthy.

The toughest hurdle to overcome was fear. I worried I might not have any friends at all after I’d made the break.

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